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Bloodninja
"Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat." -Bloodninja Bloodninja is a wizard ninja, sometimes referred to as an onmyōjishinobi. He is a rarely seen member of ZeBunker and is most known for his ancient exploits in chatrooms. Bloodninja is a man of mystery, and no one is truly sure of his true history. He claims to be a Japanese man, but only talks in a rather offensive tone usually replacing his "Ls" with "Rs" despite the fact he can speak perfect English (well, "perfect") in the ancient sex chat logs. He is Hans's roommate, and would frequently type on his account at times which would lead many users to believe he and Hans are the same person, but those people are morons. Biography The Early Years Bloodninja claimed that he was born in Japan just around the butt end of the Edo era, and the dawn of the Meiji era. Bloodninja was a raised by a clan of ninjas, the few remaining left, and was raised with harsh discipline. His father would punish Bloodninja by shoving vegetables up of Bloodninja's rectum, which is probably what led to Bloodninja's strange sense of fetish. Because Bloodninja enjoyed his punishments a little too much he was forced to go to Hogwarts because the school was racist against gooks to have a school there to know what true hell is like. He had to be a choir boy and cleaned all the toilets at Mexican food night. He was more slave than a student. BUT as a ninja you hear all and you learn the art of "shutting the fuck up" and Bloodninja managed to learn some magic during his time there. He also found love to a beautiful woman named Tropia. But he wouldn't marry her til later and high tailed out of the school when he was 18 years old. When he returned home he noticed his clan were being eaten by American coloniasts. Bloodninja's clans have been cooked as chickens, and he notices the chef is none other than his brother, Plasma Samurai. The brother betrayed the clan for money and black asses, and in addition, his chicken is quite finger lickin' good to the point it turned baby Colonel Sanders and his entire family, blue. Bloodninja was enraged by his brother's betrayal they had the most iconic argument of all time. "COMMIT SEPPUKU!" -Bloodninja "No." -Plasma Samurai "DO IT!" '' ''"No." '' ''"DO IT!" '' ''"No." '' ''"FAGGOT!" '' ''"MENSTRUAR FACE!" '' ''"PRASMA DILDO!" '' ''"VEGETABURU RAPE VICTIM!" '' ''"Atreast I didn't try to sound my urethra with bamboo you pussy." "When you did it with steer, it got you circumcized dumbass!" "ROR this nigga is too much of a giru to circumcise himserf!" The two eventually fought each other, which Bloodninja faced humiliating defeat because Plasma Samurai had to be a Plasma Bitch and used a gun. Bloodninja laid on the ground with a bullet in his anus seeing his family being eaten by the inbreeds of Kentucky. Bloodninja did eventually found love and married some random woman nobody gives a shit about. They had a somewhat normal life, Bloodninja was working within the Keiteipai who are they? WELL CLICKED THE FUCKING LINK AND FIND OUT! Anyway. Plasma Samurai was laughed at by the Sanders clan for not getting his dick circumcized for Jesus so he planned on killing Bloodninja's wife. He was feeling lazy that day so he hired Cleon to do the job. Which he did. It made Bloodninja mad, and thus cucked Cleon by having sex with his wife. Bloodninja tried to kill Cleon, but killing an immortal is not a skill he learned yet. Bloodninja continued his work in the Keiteipai, until he found Tropia, a woman that rocked his world when he was cleaning up the Taco Bell disaster. The two shared a strange sense of humor, which led to them shortly being married afterward. The marriage lasted up to around the 1980s where they divorce, for unknown reasons. Bloodninja seemed to allow to keep his daughter, Worthless Chan, mostly because Tropia didn't remember having a daughter. Bloodninja realized he can't just be an assassin forever and worked in tech support where he partied hard around the time when the World Wide Web was in its infancy. He was also a proud guard of the Vagina Box, a deadly Lovecraftian monster that would send the world in ruins. The Y2K event would of changed Bloodninja forever, he was a true believer of it thus a massive change in his life. Category:Deep Lore